Monkey on Parade

The University calls today for two reasons. First they want me to be in another study. This one involves me wearing a computerize monitor implanted on my body to give them constant information on my metabolic rate. It would be a way to see how effectively my new cells are working and more information on whats going on inside me. The procedure would mean surgery to implant a pager sized computer in my buttocks. It would be more invasive than my transplant. They assured me that it would not be noticeable. Umm- have they seen the size of my ass? Put big brother anywhere on me that size you are gonna notice. And owww, imagine sitting on that puppy. They are sending me the agreement and authorization for this to look over and sign. I know it would give valuable information, but no stinking way. Not this munkay.
The second thing they want of me is to be involved in the big public fund raiser for the diabetes association called "The lightning run". Basically it is all the Harley dealers loaning machines to the lead a parade of bikers to raise funds. The research team are put on the back of these beautiful bikes and it ends at the capital were they do all the photo's and TV interviews. Bikers take donations and come for miles to do good and show off. Since they know I have my own bike and ride, they want me to be lead monkey this year. Funny as I'm certain my cell donor died on his motorcycle. Too bad I can't afford to fix mine yet because I'm buying transplant drugs instead. Am I the only one who sees the irony there?